The last year brings into sharp focus and long perspective what it means to be a gamer, a game developer, a person, a woman, a mother in games. From creating games for one's own demographic to campaigning for diversity to sitting in regretful silence, it's been a period of intense reflection, not just for women but for everyone who makes and plays games. What did they learn and where did they learn it? In this (actually quite positive) talk, Brenda Romero resists a "lean in" and instead stands fast to talk about what it means to be a girl, woman and mother in games.